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 razors_edgeJanuary 3rd 1991 (Age 21) Female Blanchester My names Melanie... I'm 16 years old. I live in a small town in Ohio which is gay..... I'm into music, GOOD books, writing, drawing, parties are nice, photography, i like modeling, comedy, horror type of things (I like to get scared), pissing people off, hanging with my peeps, playing guitar... that sort of shit, This is another blog that I've decided to start to have something to not only waste my time with, but keep my thoughts in line... I'm not very good at keeping up with these things. I'm a pretty fun person I guess... Sometimes I'm hyper sometimes I'm calm, depends on my mood. I'm a hopeless romantic. um.. I enjoy people that know how to have a good time, I enjoy people that can have an intelligent conversation with me without being a complete idiot, I like people who will do stupid stuff with me... I don't like arrogant assholes who think the world revolves around them, I hate hypocrites... I can't say I don't like loud people because I can get pretty loud.... I'm very sweet when I want to be... my sensative side doesn't show much, I can get bitchy but not all the time... bitchyness usually causes drama I like to stay away from that when I can but... its still there so I guess I put up with it.... I'm really sarcastic and if u piss me off i usually laugh and be sarcastic... unless im extremly pissed then i just cuss u out... Also... I have the greatest boyfriend ever JOE STOLL hes beyond amazing i love him!
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Monday, March 31, 2008
Okay so me and joe broke up near the end of november
he dumped me then a week later started dating a girl who ive despised since April 2007
It was dramatic.. I felt like dieing but i got over it and met someone else
his names Christian.. he was the sweetest guy ive ever called mine. he made me laugh till i cried.. and he always knew how to cheer me up.
But we broke up.. we were together only 3 months and some. But it was an amaazing 3 months
its complicated.. now im dating ben oliver.. we are not together but we like each other
he is confusing me though he says he likes me but doesnt make an effort it seems.
im not ready to get into a relationship with him yet i want to but its too soon. i feel like i need to know more about him
me and christian still talk we havent been broken up that long almost a week
hes pretty heartbroken. i feel for him but he amazes me still! he still talks to me and loves me even after all this
its insanity...
thats about all for now.. i should write in this more.
im in school so bye!
Posted at 3/31/2008 10:53:19 am by razors_edge
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Thursday, November 08, 2007
Posted at 11/8/2007 11:23:33 am by razors_edge
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the fire burns from better days
ugh.
okay sooo im pretty happy with much of my life right now but theres
other things im confused about. like who i am. i cant define myself.
its
like idk.. like i have 2 different personalities... its weird. One day
i feel on top of the world then the next i feel like a door mat. i dont
understand it. joe and me are doing quite nicely. the medication i
think is better than the other crap i was taking. im seeing a
psychiatrist in December so hopefully he can help me out.
I
HATE girls. I just do. theres only a few i can stand. like my close
friends and thats about it. everyone else can go blow a goat. I'm just
aggrevatteeeeddd. idk why. like im happy but irritable. hmmm. anywyas.
hopefully i can just stop thinking about all the things that make me
mad. I'm going to try and do that tomorrow.
Well I guess I'm going to go now. I'm getting pretty tired and its pas 1:30 a.m sooo yeah.
Goodnight.... *wants to believe shes beautiful*
Melanie
Posted at 11/8/2007 1:40:00 am by razors_edge
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Monday, July 23, 2007
I am sick
Not deathly sick jsut sick. Think I have a cold now jefferson has it haha. We need to stop sharing silverwear.
anyways things havent been the best lately. fucking adam got wasted off of yegerbombs and walked out of his house on san-cap road. had fire trucks and ambulances and cops looking for him. my parents found him and brought him to my house where when i got there hes like hold on to me like a lost puppy going like "melanie i didnt do anyhtign worng... ok i swear...i swear" drunk off his ass. then he starts argueing with the cops. blabs how he had a marajuana and coke problem. then i take him upstairs and i tried to get him to go to the hospital and he refused to go. so then he fucking goes nuts upstairs on me. so then the cops handcuff him take him to the hospital then take him to jail. it was awful but he was back the next day. he didnt remember any of it and he appologized to me. he almost started crying because he was afraid he hurt me. its all good though im dissapointed in his drinking problem but I'll get over that night.
I'm sure he doesnt want the world to know this but bleh.
me and my mom got into a fist fight. needless to say neither of us won and she almost called the cops to send me to juvi. Erg. I hate florida! hate it. -mel-
Posted at 7/23/2007 10:41:10 pm by razors_edge
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Sunday, March 25, 2007
bitch ur mom smells like fish (mel)
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Stability results were moderately low which suggests you are worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.
Orderliness results were medium which suggests you are moderately organized, hard working, and reliable while still remaining flexible, efficient, and fun.
Extraversion results were high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity. | trait snapshot:
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open, tough, irritable, worrying, does not like to be alone, craves attention, low self control, emotionally sensitive, interacting, very social, aggressive, prefer organized to unpredictable, dependent, social chameleon, suspicious, values the heart over the mind, likes large parties, outgoing, likes to make fun, likes to fit in, mildly phobic, vain, makes friends easily, enjoys leadership, clingy, rash, sarcastic | I'm 24% left brained and 72% right brainedLeft brain dominant individuals are more orderly, literal, articulate, and to the point. They are good at understanding directions and anything that is explicit and logical. They can have trouble comprehending emotions and abstract concepts, they can feel lost when things are not clear, doubting anything that is not stated and proven. Right brain dominant individuals are more visual and intuitive. They are better at summarizing multiple points, picking up on what's not said, visualizing things, and making things up. They can lack attention to detail, directness, organization, and the ability to explain their ideas verbally, leaving them unable to communicate effectively.
Posted at 3/25/2007 5:34:00 pm by razors_edge
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Wednesday, March 14, 2007
so yeah OGT's all week.... growing up fast ain't I? not.... i need ot get into writing again. i feel distant from my creative side. but whatever.. yeah so umm hmm.... later -mel-
Posted at 3/14/2007 8:56:19 pm by razors_edge
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Friday, January 19, 2007
sticks and stones may break my bones, but boys will never hurt me
a guy could rip my heart out
he could stomp on it
spit on it
send it through a shredder
he could tell me I'm boring
pathetic
and not enough
but no guy will ever make me feel
more like ripping my heart out
stomping on it
spitting on it
and sending it though the shredder
than what it feels like
to be away from my friends
i dont think ive felt more alone
hurt
confused
or in pain than having that feeling
of my friends drifting away
its crappy its how i feel fuck off....-mel-
Posted at 1/19/2007 10:55:11 pm by razors_edge
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Monday, January 08, 2007
16 birthday has come and gone and i havent had a party yet.... prolly wont till febuary, or whenever i can get reservations for renting out a building....faaaack. umm hmm... planning a bunch of shit this week cuz im leaving saturday chyeah back to florida. im excited in a "i wish someone was going with me too, sort fo way" grrr. i wish i had my fucking cell phone "privledges" back. god dammit. i really cannot wait till collegem i need out of the fucking house... idk how im going to pay for a dorm and tuition by myself. im pushing myself in school, i want to do great and get into a good college. i cant help that im a fucking idiot. i really have no inteligents in school what so ever. i dont get it. why cant i just be smart and do something with myself. i really dont know what my interests are, i really cant say.... hmmm... -mel-
Posted at 1/8/2007 10:49:06 pm by razors_edge
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Thursday, December 14, 2006
what is in a name in which we call a rose?!
comming back to ohio again december 21.... formal was amazing joe has made me so happy, he asked me out december 2.... i said yes after getting over some shit i feel liek i can handle another relationship. He gives me flowers, and tells me im pretty everyday, calls me and leaves me a message just to say hello and that he was thinking of me. i really needed that. hes good to talk to no matter what time in the day or night when im haivng a bad day... talking keeps me from getting too stressed. i need ot be back in ohio though i just heard today that becca has a concussion and i hope she turns out ok. i miss and love my firneds more than anyhting and cant wait to be home agian. but ima cut this short....
Posted at 12/14/2006 10:08:13 pm by razors_edge
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Monday, November 27, 2006
"How to be a skilled serial killer" for dummies
So... No one reads my blogs anymore, and if there is anyone that does feel free to leave a coment....
The thrills of my life.... theres not many... I'm stuck at home on this fucking computer doing school work, I'm doing the best I can lately and no one seems to bother to listen to me but Joe. I never see my friends anymore, and for some reason, it doesnt bother me that much. I miss them all the time but what can I do... they have sports and stuff, and im always in florida. I'm sick of that stupid island. I can't seem to make anything out of myself... I don't want to fail these classes because I don't feel like takeing them over again...online... becasue thats what will happen if i fail anything. I don't understand why I'm so sucky at this thing
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Thats how I feel.....
Formals comming soon.... Went shopping with Joe the other day at the mall, got my fishnet and shoes, perfume, makeup... oh the caos before a dance. I hope it goes well though.. i think joes planning on asking me out again... long distance is hard but im not looking for anyone else and he at least can handle long distance... so that shows me that what i had wasnt real and i jsut want to see how me and Joe goes. He's so sweet. better than any guy i could think of having, everyday reminds me how amazingly beautiful i am, kisses my hands, and i can talk to him about anything, and most of all i can be myself around him not have to feel like if i act goofy like myself someones gonna think im immature cuz all you ppl that think that can fuck off for all i care.
well i suppose i should drink my coffee then call joe to see how he feels, i took care of him all day yesterdat, his tempature was 102.... erm... poor thing i got it down to 100 tohugh when i gave him osme medicine and tea... hopefully its not strep. ok...coffee, school, rest, school...then whatever.... i need to get out more...
Posted at 11/27/2006 8:53:50 am by razors_edge
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